Monday, December 31, 2007

Courage to Change

Conversation with imitiaz-partII

The search continue and never stop.


"How to live in a world with which you disagree? How to live with people, when you share neither their suffering nor their joy? When you know that you don't belong among them?"

Imtiaz misses the rhythm among the people around him which he surprisingly finds only in his guitar. I fail to find symmetry in his life, but find his fluctuations in the harmony of his guitar. He tunes and tunes and strikes a new tune every time the plectrum greets the strings of his guitar.

Like he struck a great deal with loneliness!
Most of his compositions are incomplete. He fails to explain this strange phenomenon. But perhaps he needs that loneliness which he desires to complete his compositions.

"Ah!! That phone call from Production Control regarding tomorrows shoot shatters my rhythm"

……pulls me out of my loneliness and brings me back to the world. A hideaway in our hometown is better, sitting among the oil drilling pipelines in the left over drilling wells. Constantly visited by unknown friends, who bring over some new ‘stuff’ that can blow you away.

Well I was already away, until the phone rings again.

refer to composition two from widget

He motivates me...not by the sheer fact of his rightness about people and the world in general, but he manages to express it. When I feel my voice is stifled by situations by unreasonable people, his compositions incomplete yet meaningful, seem to play out of my skin and my screams explode the veins of my throat. I puke delirious dreams of an insane world.

I don't have a guitar like Imtiaz to express my displeasure of the mobile phone called life which wakes me up whenever I seep under the ground of solitude.
I keep searching for that instrument to show my displeasure and a wall to write my angry graffiti on. Perhaps the people don't have the time to stop and read the graffiti, or they are too used to people puking on their first ride in double-decker bus!

Where can the insane run-away from the madness of the world? His psyche is far too sane to understand what the guitar is singing in these incomplete verses.

O Lord! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Compositions & Lessons in life


Angshuman left his guitar in Delhi; he had no time to pick up his life from Delhi. Dispatched like a Registered post to his home town with no return address. Well, that's how he left, or (is it?) he left us!!

The guitar en-route found a new connoisseur in the form of Imtiaz, a perfect companion for a loner like him. Imtiaz, a self-professed non-idealist and probably the most cynical person I have ever met in my life.

After a conversation with him, I sometimes simply don’t like climbing down the stairs, he lives on the 3rd floor, and the flight down the balcony seems like a better proposition.

One such night, Imtiaz made me listen to one of his compositions... Here's a snapshot of it. If you understand Assamese, sail along sailor:

refer to the widget to hear the compositions"If you have cotton stuffed in your ears
You listen to distant voices
Why do you still panic and look for an escapade?
What do you listen to?"
"On lofty branches hangs a ripe fruit
Still I can't get a grip on it
Even though I have strong huge palm
I can never get a grip on them
What a price for innocence..."

Imtiaz normally during these moorings takes-off on a tangent, a little difficult to hold on to. I constantly churn my stomach with new ideas, twist and turn and imbibe them into my blood-stream and return smelling like burnt tyres.

A high voltage running on a slim fuse wire.
My shameful grip of Assamese literature takes its toll, and Imtiaz transforms himself into a patient teacher explaining to me the simplest of Assamese 'dat bhonga' (tooth-breaking!) words.

"On Floor tiling I taste of a comfortable bed
I slip down below and the smell of the earth insinuates me
You cover me with earth so that I can't see the darkness of the night"
"you walk on the earth soiled by the late showers
mud flips past your slippers
and you feet accepts them claiming it is yours
soon its gets warmth, the mud dries off and fall off your feet
you look back and they are gone
finally you try to trace back your steps
the earth stuck to your feet which you called yours is gone
its gone and you can't finish romanticizing about it"

How ironic and how true!!
Our bygone days which we protect as our own with sole proprietorship
We keep romanticizing our past memories
Nostalgia overcomes us and we become its slave
It’s like that mud once that dries off, peels away from our feet
When we are busy enjoying the emergence of the sun after the rains
We forget, and we no longer can claim it’s ours
Coz it’s gone...

It went past us and what remains are just us...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Narrative of a film is what always interested me, and particularly "to die for" exemplifies my concern on the fact that sometime a filmmaker have to reinvent old methods to put up an argument. At first look, the first 15 minutes of the films almost seems like a TV documentary patched together with 'video booth' style interview of the prime characters. Nichole Kidman is so believably insane in her portrayal of the character. she retains the quality when she is inacting her role and when she is speaking to the camera, the positioning of the audience just changes from inside the film to the theatre seats.

Audience positioning is what is confusing in the film, and half way the film, you will wonder "If the film makers wants you to judge Nichole's character and only after your approval, she recieves her cold end under the snow, over which Illeana Douglas playing the role of Matt Dillon's sister rollerskates as the credit roll by.

Nicole is absolutely great and proves that the role is written keeping her in mind. Other actors shows their early promise so early in their career notable Joaquin Phoenix. Looking at his acting in this film in 1995, no wonder a decade later, he receives his Academy Award Nomination.
As a audience, you will be busy piecing clues and character information due to the disorganized pieces of the "actual story". So, much to make a comment on Television Programming.

my rating: 7/10

to die for(1995)Director:Gus Van Sant
Writers (WGA):Joyce Maynard (book)Buck Henry (screenplay

Nicole Kidman
Matt Dillon
Joaquin Phoenix
Casey Affleck

Basic Plot
Suzanne is a single young woman in the town of Little Hope, New Hampshire. She has the looks, but not much intelligence to go with them. Despite that (or perhaps because of it), she catches the eye of local hunk Larry Maretto (Matt Dillon), an all-around nice guy and the son of a reputed mobster. Larry falls head-over-heels, and there is soon the nuptials, with Suzanne wearing an exact replica of Maria Shriver's wedding veil. Not long after that, Larry has been transformed from "Van Halen to Jerry Vale" and is beginning to bore Suzanne with his desire to become a father, especially now that her career is taking off with a daily job as the weathergirl at a local cable station.


Jim tells his brother ""You're divorced, with a shit job in a lumberyard, and live with Mom and Dad. I'm a fucked up but you're a damn tragedy."

Casey Affleck has a paste board in his room filled with poets, novelist, musicians who died ranging from putting their head to the oven to drinking spurious liquor to plain boredom. Hemingway putting up a brave face standing out amidst others.

Casey's character Jim is a man perfected in boredom and looks million times stoned, I mean its wont be wrong calling him "stoned as ever". Its difficult to imagine, how Casey prepared for this role, or did he prepare for this ever. The film looks atrociously low-budget, almost most of the low light scenes had millions of grains. No wonder it was not surprising to find out that the original studio financing the film backed off and InDigEnt, a New York-based, Mini-DV movie company, came on board, the budget was reduced from $3 million to $500,000 (there goes one trivia)

It is but natural for film critics to criticize the film on the unnatural levels of moroseness and pessimism ingrained in the film. But you can't help notice the changes in Jim and how dangerously honestly he accepts his flawed view of the world. The pacing of the film works for the film and you have to get adjusted to the pace as you are watching it. Don't expect a visual treat, but this film seeps into the ground when nobody is watching. Liv Taylor is unnoticeable in the film, and given her aura, its a commendable job. So believable and so small townish temperament.

Dogma Style camerawork, and right after the film ended, I turn to my girl friend and say "We can also make a film like this...looks so easy to make"...Ya Right!!

my rating: 7/10

Lonesome Jim (2005)Director:Steve Buscemi
Writer:James C. Strouse
Casey Affleck

Kevin Corrigan
Mary Kay Place
Seymour Cassel
Liv Tyler

Casey Affleck's Jim, on his trek back to Goshen after failing at an undiscussed artistic professional endeavor in New York City.His family, which includes a taciturn father, Don (Seymour Cassel of the old John Cassavetes stock company), a determinedly cheery mom Sally (Mary Kay Place), bouncy nieces Rachel and Sarah (Rachel and Sarah Strouse, the writer's relatives) and a quiet, trapped-looking brother, Tim (Kevin Corrigan), who keeps suffering mysterious accidents that are probably suicide attempts.Liv Tyler as nurse Anika, a perfect small-town beauty. The other is from an unfamiliar source, old Buscemi acting partner Mark Boone Jr., who plays Uncle Evil, a drug dealer working at Don's factory.

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