Saturday, March 10, 2007

Free Women




DORIS LESSING – the golden notebook


You couldn’t ignore it: you couldn’t write a book about the building of a bridge or a dam and not develop the mind and feelings of the people who built it… This is a time when it is impossible to know the truth about anything

A short story: or a short novel: comic and ironic:


A woman, appalled by her capacity for surrendering herself to a man, determines to free herself. She determinedly takes two lovers, sleeping with them on alternative nights - the moment of freedom being when she would be able to say to herself that she had enjoyed them both equally. The women instinctively aware of each other's existence: one, jealous, falls in love with her seriously; the other becomes cool and guarded. In spite of all her determination, she cannot prevent herself loving the man who has fallen in love with her; freezing up with the man who is guarded. nevertheless, although she is in despair that she is as 'unfree ' as ever, she announces to both men that she has now become thoroughly emancipated, she has at last achieved the ideal of full sexual and emotional pleasure with two men at once. The cool and guarded is interested to hear it, makes detached and intelligent remarks about female emancipation. The man she is in fact in love with, hurt and appalled, leaves her. She is left with the man she does not love and who does not love her, exchanging intelligent psychological conversation.



I'd rather be a failure, like you, then succeed and that sort of thing. but i 'm not saying i am choosing failure. I mean, one doesn't choose failure, does one? I know what i don't want, not what I want.


And when a book’s pattern and the shape of its inner life is as plain to the reader as it is to the author – then perhaps it is time to throw the book aside, as having had its day, and start again on something new.


And what about us? Free, we say, yet the truth is they get erections when they're with a woman they don't give a damn about, but we don't have an orgasm unless we love him. What’s free about that?


[I normally always leave my smart phrase after painstakingly finishing every novel or non-fiction book. I smile at myself for coming up with such a line and feel that may be my line was always a part of the book itself. One for 'golden notebook' surprised me:


"Anna, you could write again.."


you just defined for me what 'free women' is. I have never understood them so much before and before i lifted the book, my gender and my sexual preference wouldn't have never helped either. ]

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I havent read the book that you have talked about...
But definitely I have something to say... A woman is not just defined by her sexuality... Women are seen as nothing more and nothing less than a sex tool by most of the men...These are the men to are ruled by their adrelin...Men whose lives are defined by the number of erections and ejections...
A woman has many many more facets to herself than just this one layer...
I dont think that its right to call a woman "free" in the true sense just because she can happily sleep with two guys...Doesn't the very fact that she is not only dependant upon not just one, but two guys for her satisfction & pleasure and for the sheer sake of sexual pleasure speak how "free" she is...
Guys, grow up...Dont just listen to any woman talking about "free women"...accept the fact that they are as human as you are...And as free as she thinks she is!Its all in the state of mind!

- SECRET SMILE

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